I’ve a reputation for the forgotten, forgettable, off-brand, off-axis video games of our youth. I name them: Cousin Video games.
One of the simplest ways to get within the Cousin Recreation mindset is to think about being dropped off in a home that smells completely different from the way you assume a home is meant to scent and also you go right into a room with a man who’s like a bizarre model of you, and he’s taking part in Nintendo — which you perceive — however whenever you take a look at the display, it’s like… What’s that?… What the hell is that?
A Cousin Recreation is a recreation you don’t personal, and don’t essentially wish to personal. However “Cousin Recreation” just isn’t a euphemism for “unhealthy recreation.” There are many unhealthy video games that aren’t cousin video games.
Right here’s a fast record of Cousin Video games:
Cousin Video games aren’t “normie” video games. Madden just isn’t a Cousin Recreation. It’s only a recreation your cousin performs. That is true for many sports activities video games, however not at all times true in excessive sports activities and motorsport.
Tony Hawk’s Professional Skater just isn’t a Cousin Recreation, however Tony Hawk’s Underground 2 is. AirBlade is a Cousin Recreation.
A recreation with Spider-Man in it has a 75 p.c likelihood of being a Cousin Recreation. Eighty p.c for Wolverine. Ninety p.c for Taz.
On the whole, licensed tie-in video games have a better likelihood of being Cousin Video games.
First and third-party mascot video games are hardly ever Cousin Video games, however there are various exceptions within the Sonic franchise. First-party Nintendo video games are by no means Cousin Video games. Aside from Geist, which is unquestionably a Cousin Recreation.
PC video games might be Cousin Video games, however are much more more likely to be Uncle Video games, which we don’t have time to get into.
The Cousin Recreation is outlined by a thriller. How did this recreation come to be on this wrong-smelling home? Was it a present from a mother or father, plucked arbitrarily from a Babbage’s shelf? Or did your cousin consider in BattleTanx 2? Do they nonetheless consider it fondly in the present day? Is it as candy and acquainted of their reminiscence as it’s unusual in yours?
And in the event you see any of the video games talked about right here and stated, “that’s not a Cousin Recreation,” you’ll have to contemplate the troubling chance that you are the cousin. Assist is offered.
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