Jesus Simulator is likely one of the most offensive issues I’ve ever performed, and I performed Anime Feet Girls. I’m not Christian, however I’m offended on behalf of Christians. This recreation is a Midnight Works recreation (I consider VRCFORGE STUDIOS is both a subsidiary or linked to them). It’s pretending to be one thing greater than it’s. It’s full rubbish prime to backside, utterly devoid of any redeeming qualities, as standard to Midnight Works. I imply take a look at the ai generated title card above. Slop, slop, slop!
Whenever you begin Jesus Simulator you get this display screen:
That is full bullshit. Jesus Simulator is loosely based mostly on the Jesus story. And vaguely follows it. You begin off as Mary, and go to a spring, get water, come again, bake bread and have a badly written dialog with Joseph about baking bread:
The dialog simply drags on and on and reads prefer it was written by AI, most likely was. The voices in Jesus Simulator are AI generated and utterly devoid of ardour or emotion. I do know they’re AI as a result of they’ll randomly change accents. Like Mary will randomly grow to be British and change again. Anyhow, then you will have a imaginative and prescient from an angel telling you’ll beginning Jesus. Then it switches to Joseph constructing a chair.
The quicktime occasions in Jesus Simulator are damaged, as the sport not often registers the button presses in any respect, passing turns into a matter of simply mashing the buttons till you move. After this, you and Mary go to Bethlehem and have to discover a place to lie down. This includes strolling round a barren and ugly place with completely no course in any respect. There’s a quantity above the course indicator. Its not distance to goal. It’s the course you’re headed. This leaves you utterly misplaced. Heck I bought hopeless going to get water as Mary initially, and needed to restart.
I feel I discovered the place, however Mary had gotten caught on degree geometry and disappeared and I couldn’t full it so I gave up. Oh earlier than I neglect, earlier than every part in Jesus Simulator, there may be an exposition display screen narrated by a man with a southern American accent. That is too is written by AI. The a take a look at how mechanical this reads. It’s actually AI, as a result of I doubt the builders ever opened a bible:
Ultimately, Jesus Simulator will get a Rubbish Verdict with a one rating. You’d suppose they really put effort into this and provides Christians a recreation they might happy with. however no. I do know, Midnight Works, give us a recreation based mostly on the Prophet Muhammad like this one and lets see how that goes. They received’t in fact, as a result of they know Christians aren’t going to boycott this. However nonetheless, they deserve higher than this rubbish.
Total: Jesus Simulator is a Midnight Works-style title, which means its absolute canine crap. Christians deserve non secular video games much better than this.
Verdict: Rubbish
Rating: 1
| Launch Date | 7/8/26 |
| Value | $12.99 |
| Writer | VRCFORGE STUDIOS |
| ESRB Ranking | T |
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